Riding the Struggle Bus…

 Today is hard too. Can’t seem to stay focused. Keep thinking about him. This isn’t healthy. Maybe I should just have him mail my things back to me and never see him again. That’s definitely not what I want, but that’s probably for the best. He broke up with me, so he is obviously done with me. I don’t need to hold on to false hope. I mean it’s good to be optimistic, but I don’t want to delusional. I know if he’s not the one, someone else is. I can’t stress about it. I just have to move forward. But it’s hard. We had so much fun. Made so many plans. Then again, with all the relationship advice I’ve read lately, a guy knows after six months whether he wants to marry a woman or not. We hit the six month mark. He dumped me. I should just move on. 

I know I need to do more to keep my mind off him. I was thinking about going on a hike this weekend. Just get out town and spend sometime outside. Just me and my thoughts and prayers. My friends keep offering to take me out, but I don’t want to go out and watch them drink. A few of them offered a few days in Vegas, which could be fun. I really want to see Elton John in concert. It’s a quick, cheap trip. But it’s something he and I had talked about doing. Not sure what I’m going to do. I determined to have more fun though. That will be good for me. 

Ugh. Life is hard. And unfair. And exhausting. But I’m going to stay happy and healthy. Just have to keep telling myself that. 

Jamie