Moving on, For Real…

 I needed the break down I had today. I’ve held it all together pretty good lately. But I’m tired. I let myself look like an idiot today. I’m embarrassed. But I think I needed that to move on.  I’ve been through a lot in my life, more than most people could ever dream of. I’ve survived domestic violence. I survived a toxic relationship. I survived losing my dad and my sister within six months of each other. I survived being a nurse in a pandemic. I’m surviving being the mom of a child with mental health issues. I live on my own. I pay my own bills. I take care of myself and my son. I’ve been working hard on my own mental and physical health. I am an amazing woman. I am strong. I am beautiful. I am intelligent. I am hilarious. I am loving. I am caring. I am tough. I am resilient. If someone isn’t willing to stick by me during the hard times, that’s on them. I have had a lot of issues. I recognized them. I put in the work to fix them. I have never claimed to perfect. But I am definitely not someone you meet twice. I am not going to let one person’s opinion of me define who I am. I know I am not mean. I know I wasn’t the one to start all the fights, but I let myself take all the blame. I know I am not crazy. Did I take a medication that gave me bad side effects? Yes. Did I recognize this issue and fix it? Yes. I know who I was. I know who I am now. And I know who I want to become. It takes a big person to admit their own faults. I am constantly growing, learning, and changing. I have learned from my mistakes. I am ready to close this chapter of my life, and open myself up to receive something great.