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When I took this job, I knew it would be difficult at times. I work in long term care. People come here to die. I’ve lost two residents off my hall in the last two days. They were sweet and it was sad, but life goes on. There are two women here I have grown quite fond of. I think one of them is seeing the light at the end of tunnel. It absolutely breaks my heart. She sings me songs, tells me how pretty I am, asks me to snuggle with her because I “look tired” (which I respectfully decline), asks me to sneak her cookies (which I absolutely do), and just overall warms my cold black heart. I pray she doesn’t pass on my shift. But after the first six hours of this shift, I wouldn’t be surprised if it happened tonight. I’m really starting to feel like a walk black cloud again when it come to loss. 

On a positive note, I have a couple interviews this week. One for a day shift position and one for a remote position. The work from home position is potentially up to a $20 an hour pay increase. Not sure if I qualify, but life is about taking chances.i just know if i keep working here on night shift, I’m going to stroke out. I’m too old to work under staffed and not sleep. I have to prioritize myself and my health for once.