Sunday, May 22, 2011

The New Me...

Sorry for those who expect this to be all makeup, all the time. There's something very therapeutic about putting yourself out there for the whole world to see (or read, in this case). If you don't like it, check back tomorrow...

Take a good look at the picture above. Normally, I'd criticize the way I look, but now I see a strong, fun-loving, caring, wife & mother. It's no secret that I've struggled with depression. It all started while I was pregnant. I was awful. No one wanted to be around me (which made me feel worse). Then after I had Odin, I felt fat and ugly. I gained 60 pounds with my pregnancy. I was too embarrassed to leave the house. Jeremiah was working out of town for 2 weeks at a time. I was hard being a "single" parent, but the stress of my inner struggle just made things 10 times worse. Finally, Jeremiah got a job that keeps him home the majority of the time, so I was able to focus more on getting myself better. Finally, I had an epiphany. If I wanted to be happy, then I had to change. Sitting around the house, in tears, wasn't fixing anything. It was like a weight was immediately lifted from my shoulders.
So, here I am, with 20 pounds of baby weight left to lose (not sure if I can call it baby weight, when Odin is over a year For the first time, I'm not worried about it. If I want to lose it, I have to work for it. Period. No miracle diet or pill could do the work for me. Gotta love eating right & exercise. I'm even doing it the right way!! The old me would've just stopped eating (yes, I've been struggling with anorexia since high school, so glad that girl isn't around anymore). For the first time in a very long time, I feel alive. Praise God!! :)

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