Still Going Strong…

 Yet another day without tears. Nothing is ever going to hurt as bad as losing my dad, so I guess I’m just going to get over things quickly. Don’t get me wrong, it still sucks. But he didn’t die. Sounds morbid, but that’s how my mind works. Being an adult is hard sometimes. You have to be tough and not show any weakness. Too many people are watching your every move, especially if you have children. Yesterday, mine said “I’m sorry he broke up with you, but I’m glad you started dating again. I don’t want you to be lonely”. He’s twelve. He gets me. He’s my biggest cheerleader and he keeps me humble. I don’t deserve him. 

I’m also down five pounds this week. It’s amazing how much your body loves you when you stop eating things that you’re allergic to. I feel better. I’m getting more sleep. I’m getting more exercise. I haven’t drank, even though the thought has crossed my mind a few times. I keep reminding myself it’s not worth it. Drunk Jamie = Mean Jamie. Nobody likes her. Not even me. 

I’m really determined to turn my life around. I deserve to be happy. I want people to see a positive change in me, even though I am solely doing this for myself. My car is getting inspected and my oil is getting changed as I type. That’s a big accomplishment for me. I’m taking the proper steps to start back to nursing school. I made an appointment to get my hair done. I wanted to go blonde a few months ago, but didn’t want to spend the money. I’m excited for a change. I feel good. Better than I have in a while. 

Stay tuned, 

Jamie