Finding joy…

 Life is hard. Being forty+ is hard. Being a nurse is hard. Being single is hard. Being a mom is hard. Break-ups are hard. Changing jobs is hard. Getting enough sleep is hard. Losing weight is hard. Raising a teenager is hard. Drinking enough water is hard. Eating right is hard. Saving money is hard. Feeling like you’re behind in life is hard. Aging is hard. Making adult friends is hard. Learning not to care about certain things is hard. Anxiety is hard. Depression is hard. ADHD is hard. Eating disorders are hard. It’s all hard. The last six months have taught me that life is hard enough on its own, so it’s important to find joy in something. I have found my joy in shirtless dancing baseball players. 

Is Banana Ball cheesy? Yes. Does it entertain me for 2 hours and give me something to look forward to every week? Also yes. I found the Party Animals on TikTok after my break-up. There they were. Shirtless. Dancing to Lil Wayne without a care in the world. Who knew a bunch of 20 year old could help me get over my ex.  It was nice to see tall, handsome, talented guys who aren’t afraid to be goofy. Turns out, there are other fish in the sea and I enjoy watching the boy aquarium from the comfort of my own home. 

I let myself kinda get all up in my feels today. Thinking about life. Overthinking about things I can’t change. I decided to order myself some Oliver Garden soup after work. I had some time to kill so I stopped at Five Below to browse. I was getting ready to check out when I saw this…

My joy. Right there at eye level. Reminding me that life is good and I’m better off without things that aren’t meant for me. This is what I needed today.